The Oil of Gladness
The Oil of Gladness
(#121 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore the Mighty One, Your Mighty One, has anointed You with the oil of gladness more than Your companions. (Psalm 45:7)
“The oil of gladness!” These words Father, these themes You present to the mind, I never before understood what such a phrase could mean. It was not until I reached this new level of depravity, bone shaking depravity, gasping for air, and holding onto what life I had left that I could begin to understand. My prayers, Father, are for release. Everything I write is for Your eyes Father; the cry of my soul is for Your ears Daddy. My fears and hope, my pain and praise, are all for You.
As these words go on paper, I ache with thoughts of despair; I cry out, emptying myself. I’m a drink offering poured out, but like David, “I will present my thank offering to You.” Herein, have I found the oil of gladness in place of mourning (Isaiah 61:3)? And this much I know, and for this I must exclaim, “Though You slay me, I will trust in You always.” (Job 13:15)
I will sing to You a new song. I will sing words of gratitude released from a Spirit deep within, not from my flesh. A choice had to be made. Embrace the despair, or sing to You with praise and thanksgiving. I walked; I sang; and even as the pain longed to return, I read, “Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know the Mighty One is for me.” (Psalm 56:9)
It is as if I am afraid to say this, but the process has brought back gladness, like a doorway to an unknown place, an unfamiliar place. Can it be so simple? I must, I must test. I must testify. More Father! I will offer more thank offerings. Take Me to Your river of joy and wash me fresh and new. Show me the way everlasting, the pattern of joy and hope even when hell (my “self” desire) stands before me. Though You slay me…
Oh Yahweh, I have only drunk but a little. I still thirst Father. More Abba, more.
He has put a new song in my mouth— Praise to our Mighty One; many will see it and fear, and will trust in Yahweh. (Psalm 40:3)