Choosing Friends
Old Ties
(#255 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
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There is a special time for everything. There is a time for everything that happens under Heaven. There is a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pick what is planted. There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. There is a time to cry, and a time to laugh; a time to have sorrow, and a time to dance. There is a time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to kiss, and a time to turn from kissing. There is a time to try to find, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. There is a time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; a time to be quiet, and a time to speak. There is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
And there is a time to sever bad relationships. The reasons can be complex, but in the end the pattern is simple. As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. (Proverbs 26:21) True friends are rare; casual acquaintances are many. The severing will be most necessary with the latter. What might warrant a separation? Some people have an antagonistic spirit and the energy they take from you harms your soul.
You might think it’s a sign of unconditional love and humility to work out a strained relationship. And in one sense it is. However, wisdom will tell you when you have done enough. “The contention became so sharp that they parted from one another.” (Acts 15:39) Like Shaul and Barnabas, some relationships are best ended for a season, and certain associations are best ended permanently. It’s okay to have a brother or sister with whom you might rather part ways. Not all relationships advance the Kingdom. In the future, a change in circumstances might allow room for reconciliation, but there is no guarantee that it must or will happen. Some people change; some won’t.
Truthfully, your first obligation is that which fills your soul, and that is your need for the companionship of a loving Creator. This relationship nurtures and supports self-love and allows you access to supernatural Power. Self-love is the love of the new man within (Adam #2; Messiah in you), through denial of the old man (Adam #1, the “self” will that must be crucified). The outcome: you will become all that Yahweh created you to be! His supernatural power has given to us all things that pertain to life and holy reverence, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the holy nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
A wise person guards his life (entire conscious thought plain)! If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18), and if not, move on. A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages and is self [Adam #1] confident. (Proverbs 14:16) Fake or unfruitful relationships, those that pretend to work but are really destructive, are not pleasing to the Father. True faith allows for old ties to break. True faith knows man is limited in what he can do for his fellow man. And it is not so arrogant that it is unwilling to leave the rest to Yahweh. There is a time to keep and a time to cast away. There is a time for everything that happens under Heaven.