A peace beyond our understanding
(#145 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. (Psalm 18:19)
Father, you said seek Your face and I have sought. You know all of my thoughts and all of my intent. You are even teaching me more about myself than I ever knew. You knew it all when You thought of me before the foundations of the earth (Jeremiah 1:5).
I must verbalize this cry of my heart, this thing that burns within me. I will not let it go dormant. I need this record of it. As I have sought Your face, it has been with the understanding that all things are in Your hands. The timing, the journey, and the end result, everything is in Your hands. My cry to You Father is that I might see Your hands. What do they look like? When I am touched, are they Your hands that touch me? As I step over into “finding” You, how will I know I have found? Is there an event, an epiphany? Is the process of seeking the actual finding? I still desire more Father, which leads me to believe that there is so much more. There is so much more Father; isn’t there? I must confess that the “peace that surpasses understanding” (Philippians 4:7) is not what I feel. Is it even a feeling Father, or is it a state of being? Or is it both?
Father, I know I cannot strive for these things with impatience and worry. I know there is a proper pattern to finding You when I seek. At least I believe I know. There are moments when I fight for the peace and joy. There are moments I praise and worship even while in great pain. I believe I have figured out the difference between striving and obedience. I know that all that I am, or ever will be, depends on finding You. Would You grant me permission to go to a deeper place with You? I am now asking You Father; would You open more doors to Your garden of love and acceptance? I know I cannot receive unless I ask (Luke 11:10). So, I ask and am reminded that, all the promises of the Mighty One in Him [Yahshua] are “Yes”, and in Him “So be it,” to the glory of the Almighty through us. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
I know that You are already pleased with me, as You see me through Your Son’s resurrection, but I am not pleased with myself Father. I do not condemn myself, but I know I must seek until I find. I am not seeking to earn Your love; You have proved Your love to me. I know there is more of You, so I am seeking to find more. My obedience in this brings me power Father. It is in that power that I seek You now. Please Father, come to me in greater measure.