Tag Archives: Zachary Bauer
I can’t; I won’t; I must!
How many of you are ready to lose your life for Yeshua? This devotion will be hard to hear and many people don’t understand how we can rejoice in death but listen to this video and pray about that.
I can’t; I won’t; I must!
(#010 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
www.sufferwell.org
“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)
How do I die and yet hope Father? How do I give You everything: faith, family, freedom, career?
Am I to give You My wife Father? Can I still be living the abundant life You promised if she lies alone or becomes another’s? And what about my children, Father? Am I to believe they could live without my daily presence, as if fatherless, and still have joy? Or, could I still trust You if they were fathered by a stranger or wolf, out of my arm’s reach?
I am crying to You Father, from the deepest places, as I resist losing my life. I am begging for a move of Your hand. I don’t know how to lose my life. I can’t; I won’t; I… I love them. I love them with Your love, a love that never fails. They are my trace of goodness on earth. How can I let them go? How do I lose my life? How do I find my life? I don’t know how. I can’t; I won’t! Can You hear the depths of my despair as I cry out? It could demolish cities. All I am cries out. I can’t; I won’t; I… I must!
It is a desolate place. I am caught between the death that is necessary and the life You promise. I’m caught in the middle. “Grab the unknown,” my soul says. “Release, then grab.” My flesh holds tight to both sides. This feels like the death of the one thing I cannot bear. I can’t; I won’t; I… I must! This is my death. Faced with this now, either way I die. If I give into the flesh, I die. If I give into the Spirit, I die. Father, what will be left of me? Will I find my life?
The man I was is gone. You have found your little boy again Daddy. Abba, I beg for Your help. Help Daddy.
The Almighty is [my] refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
Note to our readers: At the time of this writing, Michael was in prison. At the time of this publication he still remains incarcerated. Pray for him.
False Peace: A Heavenly Perspective
False Peace: A Heavenly Perspective
(#009 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
www.sufferwell.org
Your little carnal comforts,
They seem to make you smile.
“Check it out, smell the leather,
I’ll drive it for a while.”
Manicured yard, three-car garage,
Your square feet under air!
“Pop the bottle, twist the cap,
I haven’t got a care.”
Your little carnal comforts,
They seem to give you peace.
“Check it out, feel the paint,
I got it on a lease!”
Dare you attempt to find peace in another, peace in objects? I know what you dream about. I know what brings you “peace.” I have asked you to deny yourself (Luke 9:23). Yet, you continue to indulge. How long do you think your objects of desire can compete with My infectious touch? Yes, My love is infectious, but so is My heavenly chastening.
I see how concerned you are about your bank account. I see you check the numbers often. I too do accounting. My Son paid a hefty price with His shed blood, and He has debtors. Do not misunderstand loved one, it is not your redemption that I Am talking about here; that cost Him everything and you nothing. It is the life you live because of it, your discipleship, which I speak of today (Luke 14:25-33). Consider this; do your desires manifest from fear and trembling, in other words reverence and righteous awe (Philippians 2:12; Psalm 2:11), or is that which is carnal still causing your dis–ease, your tendency to search outside of Me for your pleasure and comfort? Did you forget that I Am the One who gives and takes away (Job 1:21)?
May I ask you how much My Son’s death is worth to you? He is here at My right hand, seated high above all things, and He is watching (Ephesians 1:20; Hebrews 8:1). He says, “I see everything that gives your heart more pleasure than what you derive from our Father’s presence. I see all things that please you more than the life I gave for you. I see all of your objects of worship. And I weep for you.”
There are many things for you to enjoy loved one. But I demand the proper order of your worship. Your false peace will be revealed to you with or without your consent. Do you have the courage to join this heavenly dance before being forced (Philippians 2:10)? The work I have started in you will be completed. I gave you My word (Philippians 1:6). Listen and obey My Son’s words as recorded by My servant Matthew (Mattityahu in Hebrew – the gift of Yahweh). But, seek first the Kingdom of the Mighty One and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33) This is the only way. It will not change. Walk in it!
Serve Yahweh with fear, and rejoice with trembling. (Psalm 2:11)
Forget the former things. Stop Dwelling.
Dwelling
(#007 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
www.Sufferwell.org
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I Am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19)
He opens up new paths in the wilderness; even in a desolate place you will find streams of living water. This is because; even in His chastisement He is tender. He does not destroy His children (Psalm 78:38).
Yahweh was well aware of the things that would bind you. Look carefully lest you fall short of the grace of the Mighty One; lest any root of bitterness springing up in you and cause trouble, and by this even many others become defiled. (Hebrews 12:15) Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. It only causes trouble. Dwelling on the past forms shackles that bind you; looking back nourishes roots that will grow the fruit of guilt, shame, unworthiness, greed, pride, and arrogance; anything but streams of living water.
“Behold, I Am doing a new thing!” says Yahweh. Not believing Me is what waters the bitter root. May I encounter you? May I take away the shackles in your mind? May I give you the mind of the Messiah (1 Corinthians 2:16)? Put aside emotion and listen to My voice. If I tell you I Am doing something new, I Am. I use all of your pain, all of your mistakes, and all of your disobedience to advance My Kingdom. If I wished not to use those fleshly things, I would have made you a spirit being entirely, like My mighty malachim (angels). Instead, I left you in the flesh so you would learn to fight for spiritual territory; My Kingdom suffers violence and violent men take it by force (Matthew11:12). It is My plan that you battle for righteousness.
Forget the former things; My mercies are new every day. (Lamentations 3:23) Even now, as you dwell on painful memories, release them into My care. My Son’s shed blood covers them all. I don’t mind your regret; reverent sorrow brings repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). But go no further than that; the rest is up to Me! Behold, I Am doing a new thing! Do you not perceive it?
When I am week HE is Strong
My Little Ones
(#002 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
www.Sufferwell.org
Protect their little hearts,
that innocence remain.
All that have betrayed us,
that they not feel the pain.
Infusions of love and peace,
their hearts feel no strain.
These are my little ones,
My hope. My daughters. My sons.
Fiercely I protect them,
with prayers and supplication.
I set them in Your palm,
their ministers stand nearby.
Not one hair missing, no tears in their eyes.
Protect there little hearts,
that innocence remain.
All those that have betrayed us,
that they not feel the pain.
It is in the weakness you are strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). You must, however, give praise in this. Giving in is not an option; rejoicing is commanded. Fall into His hands if you must fall, but know it is into His hands, and in this rejoice. It’s surrendering to Him that brings joy in the morning (Psalm 30:5). He does not need you to set the direction. He does not want you to set the direction. Fall into His hands; rest in His hands, as He takes you where you are going. Sing a song of praise as He carries you to His destiny. You are strong when you are weak; the weakness nurtures humility and a contrite heart. This He Divinely inspires and requires. This is His way; walk in it.
My sacrifice, O Mighty One, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart You, Almighty, will not despise. (Psalm 51:17)
A Personal FIRST HAND relationship with Yahweh
Understanding that knowing Yahweh on a personal level is more than just know him. This teaching is about the importance of creating a first hand relationship with HIm.
This devotion was from www.wufferwell.org
First Hand (#004 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
Oh yes Father, you have heard my cry. You understand my form and structure, for it is Your design. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. (Psalm 139:14) I have reached the end of the self that I knew. I’m ready to begin again, to be rebirthed, and to become new. No longer can I live by what was done for Abraham. I cannot survive from the miracles done for Daniel. It is not enough to read of David and all the wondrous works done on his behalf. No my Father, I must confess; “It is not enough!”
I have depended on third-party experiences for far too long. Forgive me for not realizing it sooner. Forgive me for depending on what You did for others, as if Your power and renewal were not meant to be personal. Forgive me for not crying out for the first-hand experience I now cry for; I long to know why You created me Father. I appreciate the testimonies of your faith-filled children (Hebrews 11). But, now it is my time to be one-on-one with You. This is my heart’s desire.
Your resurrection power is not just for others, but for me (Ephesians 1:19-20). It is not simply to be read about, but lived in. I can no longer live apart from this reality. Forgive me Father for waiting so long to realize deep in my soul that Paul’s life and experiences cannot transform me. Joseph’s life should make me desire to experience what he experienced, but it cannot satisfy my soul. I am not Joseph, I am me. And I am ready for my own personal experience Father.
Yes, it is all for Your glory, but also for my journey, the one You made for me to travel from the foundations of time. I am not a wasted creation living off the faith of past saints. I am alive now. I am a new creation. I am Your personal representative on the earth. Write my story for all to see Father, the story of Your other son, created for glory (1 Corinthians 2:7). My life is no longer a life of third party faith. Abba, it is now You and me in Yahshua the Messiah.
And then let this inspire other sons and daughters of Yours to write their own story. Let them all see that it is not good enough to be dependent upon the lives of others, and what You did for them. They were all created for glory and to glorify You. It is time for them to claim their own first–hand experience of You, Your Son, and Your Spirit. Now it’s personal.
Hearing The Voice of Our True God Yahweh
My Voice
(#003 from Suffer Well Devotional Series©)
Oh My little ones, if I gave you a glimpse into My day, you would experience both wonder and conviction. Come with Me for a moment, above the clouds. Look down on humanity with Me; listen with a discerning ear. Can you hear the prayers, the ones that actually get past the clouds? (Lamentations 3:44) Do you hear the prayer prayed most often? “Talk to me Yahweh.” Yes, that one.
“How can this be,” I ask? My word is My voice. My Son is My voice. My voice is written from Genesis to Revelation. The problem is not whether I have spoken; it is the time you spend listening. Such little time you give Me.
Have I not told you the wise man rises before the birds to seek My face? I love them that love Me; and those that seek Me early shall find Me. (Proverbs 8:17) Why, then, do you make your own plans and throw Me in the middle? You extract verses that fit your agenda, and then fall into despair when none of it manifests. Am I here for your amusement and convenience? Or, am I the one who delights in disciplining My sons and daughters in order to perfect them? (Deuteronomy 8:5)
My voice is all around you; have I not written so? But, it is in the silence that My words manifest, not in the chaos, not in the fire, and not in the flesh. I commune using My still small voice within you (1 Kings 19:12). Like a sleeping baby in My arms, I whisper to you. “My loved one, come away with Me; come away with Me; come away with Me.”
Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to Yahweh; Let us lift our hearts and hands to the Mighty One in heaven. (Lamentations 3:40-41)
Merciful One
Merciful One from the Suffer Well Devotional Series) Here is the link to the video on Mercy by Carols Perdomo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLxlN… Yet He was merciful; He forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time, He restrained His anger and did not stir up His full wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return. (Psalm 78:38) It is because of My love for you that I grieve over you. You see, your anger manifests from selfish desire, whereas Mine rises in desiring for you. Have I not said all that I have done is good? (Genesis 1:31; Romans 8:28) Every time you walk away from My Garden of love, My only choice is to watch, as My children walk into pain. My anger is kindled as you walk away from all of the blessings I have for you. Do I raise cursed children? Oh how you need to long to know Me better. My ways, unlike yours, are always directed towards goodness. How many times would you watch a young child slam her head into a wall, after explaining to her why it will only hurt her? What bothers you most about a scenario as this? Of course, it is the pain you see the young girl putting herself through. After a bit, it causes you to stop her against her will. Yes My child, this is what burdens Me about My children. The constant desire to add pain to the life I have provided for you. Yes, now you see. Obedience to Me is mandatory, however, only so I can bless you more. I am Abba Father, and I know better than you.
Daily Prayer and Taking a break
Here is a link to the daily prayers
http://torahlifeministries.org/daily-prayers/
Here is the video “Reconciliation with God and People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkxIEPhwesw
I”m going to be taking a break from the videos and going to spend time in prayer with Yahweh.
I’ll be going to my prayer closet.
Esther 2
Esther 2
Esther Becomes Queen
1 But after Xerxes’ anger had subsided, he began thinking about Vashti and what she had done and the decree he had made. 2 So his personal attendants suggested, “Let us search the empire to find beautiful young virgins for the king. 3 Let the king appoint agents in each province to bring these beautiful young women into the royal harem at the fortress of Susa. Hegai, the king’s eunuch in charge of the harem, will see that they are all given beauty treatments. 4 After that, the young woman who most pleases the king will be made queen instead of Vashti.” This advice was very appealing to the king, so he put the plan into effect.
5 At that time there was a Jewish man in the fortress of Susa whose name was Mordecai son of Jair. He was from the tribe of Benjamin and was a descendant of Kish and Shimei. 6 His family[a] had been among those who, with King Jehoiachin[b] of Judah, had been exiled from Jerusalem to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. 7 This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.
8 As a result of the king’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the king’s harem at the fortress of Susa and placed in Hegai’s care. 9 Hegai was very impressed with Esther and treated her kindly. He quickly ordered a special menu for her and provided her with beauty treatments. He also assigned her seven maids specially chosen from the king’s palace, and he moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem.
10 Esther had not told anyone of her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had directed her not to do so. 11 Every day Mordecai would take a walk near the courtyard of the harem to find out about Esther and what was happening to her.
12 Before each young woman was taken to the king’s bed, she was given the prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments—six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments. 13 When it was time for her to go to the king’s palace, she was given her choice of whatever clothing or jewelry she wanted to take from the harem. 14 That evening she was taken to the king’s private rooms, and the next morning she was brought to the second harem,[c] where the king’s wives lived. There she would be under the care of Shaashgaz, the king’s eunuch in charge of the concubines. She would never go to the king again unless he had especially enjoyed her and requested her by name.
15 Esther was the daughter of Abihail, who was Mordecai’s uncle. (Mordecai had adopted his younger cousin Esther.) When it was Esther’s turn to go to the king, she accepted the advice of Hegai, the eunuch in charge of the harem. She asked for nothing except what he suggested, and she was admired by everyone who saw her.
16 Esther was taken to King Xerxes at the royal palace in early winter[d] of the seventh year of his reign. 17 And the king loved Esther more than any of the other young women. He was so delighted with her that he set the royal crown on her head and declared her queen instead of Vashti. 18 To celebrate the occasion, he gave a great banquet in Esther’s honor for all his nobles and officials, declaring a public holiday for the provinces and giving generous gifts to everyone.
19 Even after all the young women had been transferred to the second harem[e] and Mordecai had become a palace official,[f] 20 Esther continued to keep her family background and nationality a secret. She was still following Mordecai’s directions, just as she did when she lived in his home.
Mordecai’s Loyalty to the King
21 One day as Mordecai was on duty at the king’s gate, two of the king’s eunuchs, Bigthana[g] and Teresh—who were guards at the door of the king’s private quarters—became angry at King Xerxes and plotted to assassinate him. 22 But Mordecai heard about the plot and gave the information to Queen Esther. She then told the king about it and gave Mordecai credit for the report. 23 When an investigation was made and Mordecai’s story was found to be true, the two men were impaled on a sharpened pole. This was all recorded in The Book of the History of King Xerxes’ Reign.
Footnotes:
- 2:6a Hebrew He.
- 2:6b Hebrew Jeconiah, a variant spelling of Jehoiachin.
- 2:14 Or to another part of the harem.
- 2:16 Hebrew in the tenth month, the month of Tebeth. A number of dates in the book of Esther can be cross-checked with dates in surviving Persian records and related accurately to our modern calendar. This month of the ancient Hebrew lunar calendar occurred within the months of December 479 B.c. and January 478 B.c.
- 2:19a The meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain.
- 2:19b Hebrew and Mordecai was sitting in the gate of the king.
- 2:21 Hebrew Bigthan; compare 6:2.
Esther 1
Esther 1
The King’s Banquet
1 These events happened in the days of King Xerxes,[a] who reigned over 127 provinces stretching from India to Ethiopia.[b] 2 At that time Xerxes ruled his empire from his royal throne at the fortress of Susa. 3 In the third year of his reign, he gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. He invited all the military officers of Persia and Media as well as the princes and nobles of the provinces. 4 The celebration lasted 180 days—a tremendous display of the opulent wealth of his empire and the pomp and splendor of his majesty.
5 When it was all over, the king gave a banquet for all the people, from the greatest to the least, who were in the fortress of Susa. It lasted for seven days and was held in the courtyard of the palace garden. 6 The courtyard was beautifully decorated with white cotton curtains and blue hangings, which were fastened with white linen cords and purple ribbons to silver rings embedded in marble pillars. Gold and silver couches stood on a mosaic pavement of porphyry, marble, mother-of-pearl, and other costly stones.
7 Drinks were served in gold goblets of many designs, and there was an abundance of royal wine, reflecting the king’s generosity. 8 By edict of the king, no limits were placed on the drinking, for the king had instructed all his palace officials to serve each man as much as he wanted.
9 At the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes.
Queen Vashti Deposed
10 On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas— 11 to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. 12 But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come. This made the king furious, and he burned with anger.
13 He immediately consulted with his wise advisers, who knew all the Persian laws and customs, for he always asked their advice. 14 The names of these men were Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan—seven nobles of Persia and Media. They met with the king regularly and held the highest positions in the empire.
15 “What must be done to Queen Vashti?” the king demanded. “What penalty does the law provide for a queen who refuses to obey the king’s orders, properly sent through his eunuchs?”
16 Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. 17 Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. 18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger.
19 “So if it please the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she. 20 When this decree is published throughout the king’s vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives!”
21 The king and his nobles thought this made good sense, so he followed Memucan’s counsel. 22 He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.[c]